Saturday, May 17, 2014

Duck Dynasty Not the Average

A different duck dynasty encroaches on the United States.  Springing from the lake area of the Avatiu Swamp on Rarotonga Island in the South Pacific, these ducks gained intelligence from the mutations of being exposed to radioactive waste emanating from the Nigerian Dwarf goat.  They now bear down in flight on the west coast of the United States in search of nuclear reactors to quench their thirsts.  Already these skewed Muscovy Ducks have overrun and disabled the nuclear vessel USS Kermit in the South Pacific in order to pacify their radioactive tastes.  What does the future hold for mankind?

Beware!  Early reports say that once satisfied these dangerous ducks then seek out grape vineyards.  For some strange reason they tend to ask directions at lemonade stand to these vineyards.  Be suspicious of their militant apparel and friendly persona.  The indication is that this new species has a dark agenda for all mankind.  What could it be and where can we hide?

Noticing one of these unfriendly Anatidaes is quite apparent.  Aside from the wearing of military BDUs they all have pink within green within purple and within again pink eyes.  Also a legacy of sick and demented mad minds they all fly in McDonald's golden arches formation to the disturbing sounds of Clay Aiken.  These are all among the most distinguishing characteristics of this new breed.

If you come in close proximity to this species you are advised not to engage in dialogue with it.  Instead call your local taxidermy for quote prices on epic duck displays on your trophy wall.  

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