Preparing for college is part of the anticipated exit of the student from the home but this event also affects the parents. The outlook of both parent and child is that the college dorm room will soon be a home. The following are psychological feelings and emotions of this life changing event. These human sentiments culminate into an apex of which the sum total ultimately places the child out of their known home and on their own.
As a parent it really doesn’t seem that long ago my older son was born to us. We’ve watched him grow and developed. We had all the little birthday parties as well as school and religious events surrounding his various age stages. We’ve even watched as he entered close relationships. All along, especially in the latter teenage years, we’ve grown anxious for that great day when this chapter would end and the college life begins.
Footnotes College laptop skin (Google Affiliate Ad)
There are things in life that a young man or woman cannot fully grasp or contemplate fully from the view of a parent. Some things just have to be learned through trial, error and the natural course of mortality. The feelings of a child physically separating from the parents’ care is quite similar to the feelings on the parents’ side. I believe it is a designed defining moment that connects two generations through a budding maturity. It cannot be disputed that the separation itself catapults a young person onto a certain field of maturity and responsibility. Still the feelings of the parent differ somewhat from the child. It is a deeper sense of perpetuation of one’s self and lineage. Though a loss has also become a gain the feelings dual as both sorrow and joy. I believe that the similar nature of this bonding moment is by design and enhances the relationship and eternal perspective of parent and child.
Having conditioned myself up from youth to be strong and suppressing sentimental emotion I’ve often avoided or procrastinated situations that may “break” me. The birth of my children is one event though multiplied by four. The death and burial of my firstborn is another. All along building myself up to be stronger and tougher until we get to the big day when a child gets to move out and dwell in the college dorms.
College Graduate (Achievement) laptop skin (Google Affiliate Ad)
Unfortunately I may have been too adamant in teaching my kids to “toughen up” and stop being so soft. To a degree I believe its imperative and vital to growth. That principal induces control and sound decision making. It keeps in check one’s own faculties. Yet the boundary line couldn’t be any fuzzier and gray. That suppression within me became very painful spiritually and emotionally. Until at that pinnacle moment when the view becomes clear and the depth of your love becomes manifest.
This feeling doesn’t have to be accompanied with college. It may be multiplied when sending a young man or woman into the military especially during wartime. The prospect of never seeing that child again can be very unbearable. Still the purpose of this article is to bring home the precious nature of that separation. For me that moment accompanied with it the flashing of memories and the final report card of how I did as a father to this young man. I guess that my grade point average will continue to modify in the decisions of my son.
I’ve leaned the growth toward the side of the child, though that is but half the experience. As a parent we’ve got to learn to eventually let go and treat that next generation as an adult with a sound mind and will. That can be very difficult for some. Aside from that college student there is also the matter of picking up the home and putting it back together.
Sunpentown RF-250W 2.5 cu.ft. Compact Refrigerator - White (Google Affiliate Ad)
Now that the chaos is over, you now have a household that is minus a constant attendee. That leaves a huge void that affects parents and the rest of his or her siblings. Modifications in how you carry out your household duties may be required. It is the growth process unto the final realization that the home is now empty and the tally of all your efforts are stacked up in the achievements of all your children.
May all graduates, parents and newly moved in college students find new joy and renewed relationships.
No comments:
Post a Comment