Thursday, May 7, 2015

Aaron Green Seeks Reelection in 2015 Shenandoah Iowa Councilman At Large Race

Up until about May 2015 I was pretty set on not running for reelection for the Shenandoah City Council seat of Councilman At Large.  The curious thing about public office is that for anyone with a conscience, near the end of the term, you are left to deep reflection and self evaluation.  It is during this evaluation that I had a learning experience which led me on a path to decide to run again to serve the residents of Shenandoah, Iowa.

First, let me explain the points I had in not running.  Without going into great detail the first three years had many instances of personal attacks on not only my stance on specific issues but also my religion as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  The feeble malice attempts of but a very few to thwart my allegiance to the people ended up poising my own Constitutionally protected right to free speech (otherwise known as the First Amendment) in jeopardy.  Not so much now, but there was a span of time when my removal was sought through false and ill-willed means.

The anxiety within was severe for quite some time but I have since extended my forgiveness in hopes that the greater good, service to the people, may be achieved with the fullest of my attention.  Yet, let's be clear.  As one who is not comfortable being confrontational, the whole experience understandably led me to thoughts of not running again.  I even entertained my suspicions that my performance was unsatisfactory by the majority.  This is not the case so I am told.

Before I get into what changed my mind I'd like to reveal what my original intent was for running for City Council in the first place back in 2011.  It may all sound rather cheesy but I feel it is important.  I did not know the names of anyone then serving on the City Council.  I did not know who the City Administrator was or even the City Attorney.  I did not know the names of most City employees.  My ignorance went so far that I barely knew who the Mayor of Shenandoah was and I credit that to seeing his name in the paper from time to time.  On top of this I did not know or was not current on the issues impacting the city at that time.  I offer this to illustrate that I had no hidden agenda for running for public office.  I had no vices or grandeur for "change."

In all truth my original intent for running is the strongest suit I have for offering to serve a second term - simply to serve the people in good and clear conscience.

For many weeks of late I've sat, pondered and stewed over whether I should or should not run.  As is my custom in issues of mental strain I resorted to scripture study and prayer to find strength and answers.  In studying the afflictions of Peter and John I came across Chapter 5 Verse 41 in the Book of Acts of the New Testament in the King James Version of the Bible.

"....... rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name."

I know.  Right now you have that "huh" look on your face wondering what the heck this is all about.  Here it is.  My original intent was clean and transparent - to serve the people.  All my good intentions and ambitions are inseparably connected to my foundation.  My foundation is to serve my God (see Pledge of Allegiance) by serving the people in protecting their Constitutional rights and aiding the expansion of their potentials, possibilities and opportunities to pursue happiness, and to create and foster a very diverse city in which all this can be comfortably accomplished within the bonds of peaceful coexistence.

Basically, if I am able to retain that level of intent to serve in spite of the trials and difficult decisions inherent with any City Council then why not run again if you have the desire.  If you have the desire to serve then you are called to serve.

After much pondering and study I am here to announce that my intention remains the same.  My desire to serve without guile, pride and without respecting one person or group over another remains void of anything hidden.  After the experiences over the past four years I now know that I should welcome and rejoice in the trials and difficult decisions that come my way.  These are decisions placed upon those who hold the post of Councilperson and those mantles are sustained by the governed - in this case the people of Shenandoah.

There is no elected official that anyone would honestly say they feel they agreed with all of their decisions.  Seeking such a person will lead to a sad life.  So I ask a question: Do you feel that my performance, whether you agree or disagree, has been in my good conscience?  If so, then you can take faith that some good decisions will result.  If not, then I welcome how you may vote.

It may be asked what it is I want to accomplish in my second term as Councilman At Large.  To this I would respond that it remains my objective to create environments to bridge the gaps not only between the people and their immediate local government but between all people in general.  In a city of around 5,000 we have about twenty Christian denominations represented.  That is a large number per capita.  I would encourage understanding and civility between them all as this town has historically always done.  I would encourage more people to get involved with their City government.  There are few opportunities of equal satisfaction than to serve your neighbor.  More should be exposed to such an honor.  These are my continuing aspirations while serving in City government.

I would encourage those within Shenandoah to Share if not Like and Share this announcement to your fellow citizens.  Even if I am not supported it is important to me that they at least understand who I am and what I represent as one currently sustained by the people to sit on a Council of five for the City of Shenandoah.

Twitter @1to1WorldConnct

Thursday, April 9, 2015

One Eternal Round Martial Arts Lesson - Three Requirements of Flesh and Electronic Device

Every martial arts instructor inherently controls the atmosphere of the dojo.  It is the power and authority of all mantles whether government, company, church or in the home.  The governed tend to follow suit according to the leader.  As a leader if you strive to create a dojo of learning and fun you can acquire it through strategic leadership.  All things are born first spiritual and then temporal.  As such, there may be certain expectations and even requirements that every student must adhere to.  Aside from codes of conduct I have three things on a personal level that I require of every student.

Teachable Mind - Prior to entering the dojo I expect pride to drop.  It's not the military.  I don't consider you a maggot until you obtain a certain rank.  However, in order to learn and progress one must attend their classes with a teachable mind.  This cannot be done if one is prideful or thinks they have a level of skill above another.  This mindset actually hinders learning.  It erects growth boundaries that one cannot extend beyond.  The deceit of it is that these boundaries are rarely seen or identified by the person.  However, these boundaries built by pride are often seen by others.

Of course, as a student learns this in the dojo they will know that I will expect this to carry beyond the mats.  It is a part of integrity to carry honor at all times.  So come to class with a teachable mind and you'll grow with more substance than you ever thought possible.

Willing Heart - This is closely related to a teachable mind.  A student with a willing heart has the capacity to integrate the arts into their life.  They are willing to take the extra step out of faith of a greater outcome down the road.  The opposite of a willing heart is a reluctant heart.  The heart of a martial artist has the fibers of courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self control and an indomitable spirit.  These qualities are enhance through learning the physical and spiritual disciplines of the martial arts.  A person with a willing heart is willing to test the counsel and assignments given by the instructor through practice.

Dictaphone - Alright, that was supposed to throw you off in a demented humorous sort of way.  Actually, an optional requirement of mine is an avenue to record your thoughts.  I always carry with me an electronic digital dictaphone.  You know, sorta like the ones you see journalists and reporters carry around.  Even a pad and pencil will do.  Whatever it takes to give you the liberty and means to record your thoughts that you want to reflect on without fearing your own forgetfulness.

Some of man's greatest revelations or inspirations come during times of focus and the pursuit of physical and mental training.  As I go through my motions and concentrate on perfection of technique there are times when the floodgates of new techniques and new life lessons present themselves.  Admittedly, I tend to forget a lot of things.  One way to combat this is to carry with me my dictaphone.  Don't be afraid to use your chosen fashion of recording.  When inspired - stop and record.  Even during class time if a student of mine is inspired I would consider it derelict of duty to the self if they don't stop and record.

These three requirements come to mind first and foremost because it is what I use when I enter the dojo.  In the solitude of training the first two help me to ensure growth as I leave the door compared to when I entered.  The last ensures that my weakness of mind doesn't lose important inspirations forever.

Concerning recording your thoughts I have found that just the very effort of saving and recording a thought actually enhances the meaning and helps you remember it.  This is predicated upon the laws of pondering.  Recording your thoughts makes you ponder over them.  You want to capture every bit of information you came up with.  As you do this doors and wider fields of view begin to encroach your understanding.  This is magnifying the inspiration received.

Aside from the dojo I would encourage all to consider three requirements either for yourself or your family.  Make these requirements a part of your discipline.  Even if you are not a leader you still govern yourself.  Therefore, as a leader of yourself you still govern the atmosphere of your mind, body, spirit and environment.  You are accountable.  Let those requirements foster learning with a teachable mind, a willing heart and by all means record the inspirations you receive.

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Mormons Observing Good Friday with the Catholic Church with Food

Those who have followed my posts know that I have a good friend who is a Catholic priest.  This has led to an opening of understanding that is unparalleled in worldly joy.  Considering the world today especially with the persecutions unto murder of Christians in the Middle East it is also a miracle.  This also has application to Israel and the threat of its existence.  Intolerance against Israel threatens its very survival.  Will the world follow suit with those who ally themselves with animal behavior of intolerance?  Learn the simple message of Jesus Christ and pattern your compassion and outreach after His manner, and after the manner that we've undertaken here in Southwest Iowa.

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints it was an honor for myself, our local Bishop and our wives to accept an invitation to the Good Friday service at St. Mary's Catholic church.  It began with the Stations of the Cross and also included the Adoration of the Cross.  Yes, of course the proceedings differ between our faiths.  However, being inherently observant I sat (and stood several times) and listened to the message presented by the good Father and those doing the readings.  The message resounded and reaffirmed the first impressions from our first encounter several years ago.  No matter how different the gatherings are the message among most Christian faiths are one the same.  Jesus is the Christ!

This is why it was such an honor to attend this service.  Both congregations accept each other as brothers and sisters in Christ.  We accept that there is good among the various flocks of the Good Shepherd.  We know that through His design it was known from the beginning the varied nature of the spectrum of worship of the Anointed One.  God loves wondrous variety!

There are fourteen Stations of the Cross.  These include various chapters in the final hours of Christ's mortality up to and including His crucifixion.  I believe this encompasses what many consider the Passion of Jesus Christ.  To include a little levity and humor I must say that we did get our exercise as we stood and sat several times.  A healthy dose of calisthenics is good and healthy.  Now come on, before anyone frays in offense let us also learn to love one another with a jovial nature.  Just remember, the notions of Mormons out there are numerous and off the wall.  Yet to add and substantive side it did offer a refreshing of the body and a retained focus of the Stations of the Cross.  It was a very good and vital part of the Good Friday service of which I am eternally grateful to have been a part of.

The Adoration of the Cross was also interesting and a solemn occasion among our Catholic brethren and sisters in Christ.  This ceremony includes the physical presentation of a cross and the invitation for all to come, approach and offer their humbled gratitude and reverence for the sacrifice of the Lamb.  Sure, for many in other faiths this observance is different, but one must always remember that the message remains the same.  Jesus is the Christ!

The Catholic setting of Good Friday is that of a tomb.  It compels the person to a solemn state of heart and mind.  The displayed cross is adorned with a red banner and the priest offers his liturgy and service with red vestments.  As a Latter-day Saint there are few symbolic representations of the events surrounding the crucifixion of Jesus Christ outside the pictures we may have on the walls in our regular meetinghouses.  Our temples, though, are filled with symbolic representations of the divinity of Jesus Christ.  Again, the message is still the same.

I will offer this observation and it is meant not as anything but a complimentary comparison.  Probably what makes Latter-day Saints and Catholics "in a different zone" in each other's edifices especially during the Easter time is the focus.  It is very interesting, if you remember that the message is still the same.  In the Catholic faith the focus is on the Passion or the process of sacrifice of the Son Jesus Christ and His heart-wrenching suffering.  Of course, it gladly ends with the glorious promises of the faithful in His Resurrection.

In a Latter-day Saint setting the focus is a little different.  We tend to focus our preaching of the events of that sorrowing last week along with the significance each step of the way.  The focus tends to take us from the finishing chapter of mortal death to the rising sun of the Resurrection and the renewal of life and understanding for all God's children.  Both faiths preach both ends of the spectrum (which are one the same) with just a little more time focused on each side of that winding up scene.  Heck, I think its a good thing to be exposed to both schools of worship.

I am deeply grateful for the friendships formed between the Catholic and Latter-day Saint faiths.  Not only here in Southwest Iowa but across the globe.  Together we shall stand lest we be divided and fall.

Now....... let us get to another deep and serious comparison between the Catholics and Mormons - food!

No doubt like the Latter-day Saints skirmishing to the chow line at a potluck the Catholics also eagerly await their dinners (pun intended).  After the liturgy and Good Friday service all enjoyed the excellent food at their final fish fry of the Lent season.  The Knights of Columbus always prepare a very good meal for the patrons.  So, if nothing else we can all take great comfort in knowing that we all observe a good dinner in much the same way. ;)

In conclusion, if we don't learn to reach out and clasp hands with our brothers and sisters of other faiths we will never increase our capacity of love and compassion.  Attend, observe and do your best to understand what makes everyone tick as it does in your own church setting and always remember that Jesus is the Christ.


One Eternal Round Martial Arts Lesson - The Spine Building a Firm Foundation Anchor for Life

It is a common teaching that the martial arts are 90% mental and 10% physical.  I concur with this assessment.  Yet I would add something to this teaching of the martial arts.  The martial arts are 90% mental, 10% physical and 100% spiritual.  Whether Karate, Taekwondo, Jiu Jitsu, Hapkido, Kung Fu, Tai Chi or even the arts of the Shaolin, though physical are highly rooted spiritually.  This makes the martial arts to the serious enthusiast a very important part of their life.

This lesson is physically centered around the spine.  Regarding the 10% it is vitally important to keep your spine straight and when possible upright.  Remember this - most people's excitement revolves around Bruce Lee or Chuck Norris style kicks.  That's great and it is fulfilling to learn these techniques.  However, in a defensive situation it is highly unlikely that any kicks would be necessary.  True, many kicks turn the upper body almost parallel to the ground countering my edict to keep upright.  Yet, since kicks are actually secondary in defensive strategy your spine should most always remain upright and straight.  I love the kicks, but in a practical sense it is good skills to know as a backup in a threatening situation - not the priority.  Remember the spine.

Humans are receptive to visual comparisons.  For some reason a picture sticks to the mind better than reading text.  When I picture how a spine should be in a highly physical situation I think of a carousel horse.  Notice in the picture below the pole running straight down the horse.  It does not move in angles.  It's only motion is up or down.  That is how your spine should be.  There are upper body techniques that require extending the body low or high yet remaining the spine sure and strong.  Just remember the carousel horse and you'll do just fine.  Also like the carousel your spine is your stand.  It is where you are.  It is where you resolve to be immovable.

The mental and spiritual side are intertwined and this is where my final point will stand.  All my teachings of Taekwondo also have a relative application to life.  Your spine, that pole establishing the horse, is your foundation.  It is the thing which you are built upon.  It is the substance that makes you who you are in times of war and peace.  It is that sponge which absorbs all your words, deeds and actions.  It is the litmus test that gauges your level of honor.  This is the mental and spiritual side.

Increasingly, this modern world supports the compromising of personal principles and precepts.  It does so until the one is utterly left destitute and destroyed.  This may sound extreme but I've seen it hundreds of times.  If your house is not built upon firm ground then it has no sure footing.  It is only a surety that when the winds and the waves verge upon you the structure will fail and be left in ruin.  In comparison, when you are in a physical altercation you must pay special attention to your spine.  It is the foundation of every movement.  Sloppy technique without the proper use of the spine can leave you injured or subjected to the will of your opponent.  The firm passion to not compromise your principles and precepts will help ensure your well being and survival.


Tuesday, March 31, 2015

One Eternal Round Martial Arts Lesson - Protect Vital Area With Bounds of Protection Without Wasted Energy

The martial arts are a great tool of personal discipline, fitness and purpose.  As an instructor it is my pleasure to publish yet another lesson.  All teachings are purposely expand into life lessons for today's dark and tumultuous times.  Taekwondo is my chosen field of martial arts.  The art of hand and foot has been a mainstay foundation.  This lesson covers your expended energy.  Learning and mastering energy can be critical in not only personal physical protection but also alleviating life burdens we place on ourselves.

As you can see in this riveting high quality picture there is a transparent rectangular box.  This box represents the maximum area that you need to concentrate on to protect your vital parts.  This means that for most any high blocks, low blocks and middle blocks your hands should almost never rest beyond these boundaries.  When your motion is complete you should be well within this area.

The reasoning behind this defined area is maximizing the best use of energy.  All motion, and even thought, uses energy.  In regards to thought, it is prudent to exercise and produce a pristine quality of cognitive abilities with focus as a foremost priority.  By doing so you will be using your energies in a direction of your own well being and protection instead of wandering your thoughts in diverse paths.  Thinking about the movie last night or what dinner will be tonight is a wasteful use of your brain power in situations of choice affecting your life.

There are obvious reasons in the realm of personal physical protection.  It is natural to those new or untrained to overextend or overly exaggerate a block technique.  This often lands your hands in areas way outside the focus of a vital organ, knee, elbow or joint.  Extending a block just 6" beyond what is needful exacerbates the strain of early fatigue by a factor of 10.  This can be critical in your happiness at the end of the trial!

Disciplining the mind and body to focus your energies to stay within the Bounds of Protection is among the best lessons to learn.  There are facets of life that can benefit from this lesson.  Logical thinking will direct your choices toward end results for your long term benefit.  These choices will inherently create lasting happiness to you and those around you.  This is the doctrine of energy.  Correct personal choices will have a positive affect in the long term.  This affect will always have a cascading wake that multiplies in ways you cannot know or dream of.

The martial arts is much less fighting than it is learning how best to positively influence the world around you.

A disciplined thinking will also help prevent you from taking on too many activities or responsibilities.  Excess tasks divide your attention and inevitably lead to unwise decisions and mental confusion.  Things that should have priority focus and undivided attention will now have a fraction of that.

Learn the Bounds of Protection.  This area of energy expenditure should represent not only personal physical protection, but also illustrates a focused boundary of life energy - your choices.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Shall We Carry the Cross of Jesus at Easter

Easter is upon us and many eyes are upon Jesus Christ whether for good or ill.  This meridian in time goes hand-in-hand with Christmas.  Whether Christian or not Christmas is traditionally celebrated toward the end of December, though the birth of the Christ Jesus was in the Springtime.  Nonetheless, they are both epic and pivotal moments in the progress and salvation of not only the earth itself, but also every single life form that has ever lived, is living or will yet live upon it.

Many events took place especially in the last week leading up to the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.  From nearby Bethany to Jerusalem where there is the preparation for the Passover and the Last Supper, the Mount of Olives by way of Cedron Valley, the agony in the Garden of Gethsemane, the betrayal of Judas Iscariot, the trials of Jesus and eventually His condemnation.  Yet, to the Christian world it is His triumph.

My mind of late has been brought to those steps Jesus took as he tarried with the cross.  That old tree proved most agonizing as his strength waned on that dusty trail.  Taking advantage of his distraught spirit at the sight of the suffering of Jesus, the people compelled Simon of Cyrene to lift up the cross after Jesus and assist to that place where the Savior would commend His spirit unto the Father.  This small reference is found in the Book of Matthew 27:32.

The entire life and ministry of Jesus Christ is an unmeasured volume collection of lessons for all of us to learn.  So what can be learned from this small reference to Simon?  What measure of hope can be gleaned from this profound visual in our minds?  The judgement on Jesus left Him without dignity in the eyes of the people in those final hours.  Yet, the accusers left a mark that in many ways sums up the ministry of Jesus.  Though their motives may differ from what history is wanting us to learn, the act of one man lifting the burden, the yoke, of another and tarrying with them is a hallmark act of compassion and service that can set mankind in a favorable setting with the Father and the Son.

Vicarious work is an eternal doctrine!  Jesus Christ, Himself, authored vicarious work for those unable to do so for themselves.  It was only He, who was able and authorized to bear the sins of the world.  It was only He, who was sustained to be that bridgework between man and the presence of the Father.  Yes, we can do things for others IF they are willing to receive it by their own choice.
His Sacred Name Video
Simon teaches us that though the scene may be gruesome and unsavory, the heart and spirit can supersede, and true compassion and brotherly love can set in to transform the occasion into a living paradise.  How often do we see our fellow man in various levels of peril and seek to commune with their spirit in service?  There are opportunities to serve everyday.  In fact we are blessed we almost moment-to-moment opportunities.

Therein lies the disclaimer of Jesus when we stand before Him.  We cannot blame the guy on the right or say our plight in life was worse than the guy on the left.  Our minds will be opened and our lives will be like seas of glass.  Then will our pride be stripped away so as to see the countless opportunities we've been given to progress and to help and uplift our fellow man.  Just as Simon did in the final hours of Jesus.  Just as Jesus did for all of us.
John the Beloved Witness of Resurrection
Yes, Simon was recordably compelled to lift up the cross.  Yet, in relation to our lives are we not compelled of the Spirit to lift up the yoke of our fellow brethren and sisters, our fellow sons and daughters of God?  History tells us that when a civilization is considered righteous is when through the Laws of Consecration man dedicated their time, talents, means and even compassion to the work of God.  Through this all man may be happy and learn to live and grow together as one.

At this Easter may we learn the lesson from the small but profound passage of Simon of Cyrene.  Let selfless service abound in your homes, communities and the world around you.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Parable of the Scarlet Young Hypocrite

Living with the follies of our youth can be heart-wrenching on a daily basis.  As adults we continue to make mistakes yet many of us often try to pin down the genesis of our weaknesses.  Oftentimes these can be traced to our youth.  This brings me to the parable of the scarlet young hypocrite.  This post will be boring because it is so common.  It is a human carnal weakness right out of the textbook of "How to Be a Weak Human."  Let me explain.

There are many things I'd like to pass on to my children and all who'd be interested in hearing my own lessons learned.  Among them includes a story of hypocrisy.  Not to worry - it is a short story.

I was probably an eighth grader but no older than Freshman age in school.  I was probably 15 or so.  There was this Mexican kid that moved in to town with his mother.  I was an incredibly dangerous introvert at that time.  Not to others but dangerous to myself in a self destructive sort of way.  Like many I was a nice kid at heart but my fears led me to reach out in seemingly "fearless" directions.  It was all to elevate myself in the eyes of others - at any cost.  Anyhow, we'll refer to this Mexican kid as Jacob.  I was in silent search for friendship and it was apparent that Jacob was in need of friendship.  In the most sincere of intent I interacted with Jacob.

Jacob had an extremely meek heart.  He was kind and considerate and brutally honest.  I've always had empathy toward those who had a difficult time fitting in or making friends.  I saw Jacob as one of these.  In my accelerated age I really don't remember much about Jacob save it be one instance.  Though it paints me scarlet as can be, it is also the one blessing Jacob gave to me.  His example helped set up the rest of my life.

On his first day at school we somehow got off to a good start and struck a conversation.  I helped him find certain classrooms and within a couple days he had invited me to his place for a snack.  Looking back I'm surprised I agreed.  Being such an introvert I can scarcely fathom going to someone's house let alone having a conversation with them.  Anyhow I went and even got to meet his mother.

Within a couple more days that old serpent started working on this weak sow - me.  There were a couple of guys that were talking trash about this young man Jacob.  Admiring their social status I passingly joined in and made a light-hearted remark as well.  At the time I was unaware that Jacob himself was within earshot of all that transpired.

That very day after school I decided to meet up with Jacob and so approached him on his way home.  Regardless of my friendly remarks he ignored me and kept walking.  This is where the seeming friend, Satan, cowardly flees your side and leaves you naked as a jaybird.  Knowing my own folly I began making comments at him in an effort to make him feel bad about making me feel bad for not answering me.  Yeah, it's a very "high schoolish" way of putting it but that's where it was.

That was the stripping down part.  I was struggling to build up walls of pride with blocks that didn't exist.  I had nothing.  Shortly thereafter Jacob stopped and spoke to me as he looked me in the eye.  This is where the dagger pierces the heart and the blood therefrom paints the "H" for hypocrite.  He questioned me if I was his friend and that he heard all that happened at school including my rude comment and behavior.  Adding salt to injury he made it known to me that he was just wanting a friend and now feels he couldn't trust or consider me a friend.  No, he didn't cry that I saw but it was very apparent that he was hurt and disappointed with me.  I knew I had nothing but I couldn't even save face enough to say "sorry."  I turned and walked away.

When I knew I had no phantom bullets left, that was the stage where a man parades the scarlet letter that cannot be hid.  Utter shame and remorse entered my soul leaving nothing to nurture happiness.

The lesson of the story is a simple one yet one of the hardest to master.  Be true to yourself!  Be true to who you are.  Be true to the values and principles that you proclaim to adhere to.  Honesty, integrity, perseverance, courtesy and an indomitable spirit are all foundational qualities.  All else means nothing and will only serve to destroy if you stray into realms of compromising them.  The more you compromise the easier it is to compromise.  Eventually, the more we compromise and take the path of least resistance we'll find ourselves utterly without any wholesome values whatsoever.

When that happens it will take a miracle for one to look inward and ask "How did I allow this?"  Instead, the process of regularly compromising your foundation creates a panic "victim" reaction that gets pushed often.  This button causes you to look outward for blame.  You'll question outside influences made you do such and such when the reality is your own weakness and your freedom to choose did this.

I am not happy with what I did to Jacob.  To this day there is shame felt.  To this day I want to change the past.  However, we cannot change the past but we can mold our future.  With the callous in our hands bearing the toils of experience we can shape the path before us.  I hurt Jacob but that lesson can prevent hurting countless others and, in fact, produce happiness through my choices based on my experience.

A building in Scotland bears this inscription: What E-er Thou Art, Act Well Thy Part
I would encourage pondering these words and consider them when choices are made.