Living with the follies of our youth can be heart-wrenching on a daily basis. As adults we continue to make mistakes yet many of us often try to pin down the genesis of our weaknesses. Oftentimes these can be traced to our youth. This brings me to the parable of the scarlet young hypocrite. This post will be boring because it is so common. It is a human carnal weakness right out of the textbook of "How to Be a Weak Human." Let me explain.
There are many things I'd like to pass on to my children and all who'd be interested in hearing my own lessons learned. Among them includes a story of hypocrisy. Not to worry - it is a short story.
I was probably an eighth grader but no older than Freshman age in school. I was probably 15 or so. There was this Mexican kid that moved in to town with his mother. I was an incredibly dangerous introvert at that time. Not to others but dangerous to myself in a self destructive sort of way. Like many I was a nice kid at heart but my fears led me to reach out in seemingly "fearless" directions. It was all to elevate myself in the eyes of others - at any cost. Anyhow, we'll refer to this Mexican kid as Jacob. I was in silent search for friendship and it was apparent that Jacob was in need of friendship. In the most sincere of intent I interacted with Jacob.
Jacob had an extremely meek heart. He was kind and considerate and brutally honest. I've always had empathy toward those who had a difficult time fitting in or making friends. I saw Jacob as one of these. In my accelerated age I really don't remember much about Jacob save it be one instance. Though it paints me scarlet as can be, it is also the one blessing Jacob gave to me. His example helped set up the rest of my life.
On his first day at school we somehow got off to a good start and struck a conversation. I helped him find certain classrooms and within a couple days he had invited me to his place for a snack. Looking back I'm surprised I agreed. Being such an introvert I can scarcely fathom going to someone's house let alone having a conversation with them. Anyhow I went and even got to meet his mother.
Within a couple more days that old serpent started working on this weak sow - me. There were a couple of guys that were talking trash about this young man Jacob. Admiring their social status I passingly joined in and made a light-hearted remark as well. At the time I was unaware that Jacob himself was within earshot of all that transpired.
That very day after school I decided to meet up with Jacob and so approached him on his way home. Regardless of my friendly remarks he ignored me and kept walking. This is where the seeming friend, Satan, cowardly flees your side and leaves you naked as a jaybird. Knowing my own folly I began making comments at him in an effort to make him feel bad about making me feel bad for not answering me. Yeah, it's a very "high schoolish" way of putting it but that's where it was.
That was the stripping down part. I was struggling to build up walls of pride with blocks that didn't exist. I had nothing. Shortly thereafter Jacob stopped and spoke to me as he looked me in the eye. This is where the dagger pierces the heart and the blood therefrom paints the "H" for hypocrite. He questioned me if I was his friend and that he heard all that happened at school including my rude comment and behavior. Adding salt to injury he made it known to me that he was just wanting a friend and now feels he couldn't trust or consider me a friend. No, he didn't cry that I saw but it was very apparent that he was hurt and disappointed with me. I knew I had nothing but I couldn't even save face enough to say "sorry." I turned and walked away.
When I knew I had no phantom bullets left, that was the stage where a man parades the scarlet letter that cannot be hid. Utter shame and remorse entered my soul leaving nothing to nurture happiness.
The lesson of the story is a simple one yet one of the hardest to master. Be true to yourself! Be true to who you are. Be true to the values and principles that you proclaim to adhere to. Honesty, integrity, perseverance, courtesy and an indomitable spirit are all foundational qualities. All else means nothing and will only serve to destroy if you stray into realms of compromising them. The more you compromise the easier it is to compromise. Eventually, the more we compromise and take the path of least resistance we'll find ourselves utterly without any wholesome values whatsoever.
When that happens it will take a miracle for one to look inward and ask "How did I allow this?" Instead, the process of regularly compromising your foundation creates a panic "victim" reaction that gets pushed often. This button causes you to look outward for blame. You'll question outside influences made you do such and such when the reality is your own weakness and your freedom to choose did this.
I am not happy with what I did to Jacob. To this day there is shame felt. To this day I want to change the past. However, we cannot change the past but we can mold our future. With the callous in our hands bearing the toils of experience we can shape the path before us. I hurt Jacob but that lesson can prevent hurting countless others and, in fact, produce happiness through my choices based on my experience.
A building in Scotland bears this inscription: What E-er Thou Art, Act Well Thy Part
I would encourage pondering these words and consider them when choices are made.
There are many things I'd like to pass on to my children and all who'd be interested in hearing my own lessons learned. Among them includes a story of hypocrisy. Not to worry - it is a short story.
I was probably an eighth grader but no older than Freshman age in school. I was probably 15 or so. There was this Mexican kid that moved in to town with his mother. I was an incredibly dangerous introvert at that time. Not to others but dangerous to myself in a self destructive sort of way. Like many I was a nice kid at heart but my fears led me to reach out in seemingly "fearless" directions. It was all to elevate myself in the eyes of others - at any cost. Anyhow, we'll refer to this Mexican kid as Jacob. I was in silent search for friendship and it was apparent that Jacob was in need of friendship. In the most sincere of intent I interacted with Jacob.
Jacob had an extremely meek heart. He was kind and considerate and brutally honest. I've always had empathy toward those who had a difficult time fitting in or making friends. I saw Jacob as one of these. In my accelerated age I really don't remember much about Jacob save it be one instance. Though it paints me scarlet as can be, it is also the one blessing Jacob gave to me. His example helped set up the rest of my life.
On his first day at school we somehow got off to a good start and struck a conversation. I helped him find certain classrooms and within a couple days he had invited me to his place for a snack. Looking back I'm surprised I agreed. Being such an introvert I can scarcely fathom going to someone's house let alone having a conversation with them. Anyhow I went and even got to meet his mother.
Within a couple more days that old serpent started working on this weak sow - me. There were a couple of guys that were talking trash about this young man Jacob. Admiring their social status I passingly joined in and made a light-hearted remark as well. At the time I was unaware that Jacob himself was within earshot of all that transpired.
That very day after school I decided to meet up with Jacob and so approached him on his way home. Regardless of my friendly remarks he ignored me and kept walking. This is where the seeming friend, Satan, cowardly flees your side and leaves you naked as a jaybird. Knowing my own folly I began making comments at him in an effort to make him feel bad about making me feel bad for not answering me. Yeah, it's a very "high schoolish" way of putting it but that's where it was.
That was the stripping down part. I was struggling to build up walls of pride with blocks that didn't exist. I had nothing. Shortly thereafter Jacob stopped and spoke to me as he looked me in the eye. This is where the dagger pierces the heart and the blood therefrom paints the "H" for hypocrite. He questioned me if I was his friend and that he heard all that happened at school including my rude comment and behavior. Adding salt to injury he made it known to me that he was just wanting a friend and now feels he couldn't trust or consider me a friend. No, he didn't cry that I saw but it was very apparent that he was hurt and disappointed with me. I knew I had nothing but I couldn't even save face enough to say "sorry." I turned and walked away.
When I knew I had no phantom bullets left, that was the stage where a man parades the scarlet letter that cannot be hid. Utter shame and remorse entered my soul leaving nothing to nurture happiness.
The lesson of the story is a simple one yet one of the hardest to master. Be true to yourself! Be true to who you are. Be true to the values and principles that you proclaim to adhere to. Honesty, integrity, perseverance, courtesy and an indomitable spirit are all foundational qualities. All else means nothing and will only serve to destroy if you stray into realms of compromising them. The more you compromise the easier it is to compromise. Eventually, the more we compromise and take the path of least resistance we'll find ourselves utterly without any wholesome values whatsoever.
When that happens it will take a miracle for one to look inward and ask "How did I allow this?" Instead, the process of regularly compromising your foundation creates a panic "victim" reaction that gets pushed often. This button causes you to look outward for blame. You'll question outside influences made you do such and such when the reality is your own weakness and your freedom to choose did this.
I am not happy with what I did to Jacob. To this day there is shame felt. To this day I want to change the past. However, we cannot change the past but we can mold our future. With the callous in our hands bearing the toils of experience we can shape the path before us. I hurt Jacob but that lesson can prevent hurting countless others and, in fact, produce happiness through my choices based on my experience.
A building in Scotland bears this inscription: What E-er Thou Art, Act Well Thy Part
I would encourage pondering these words and consider them when choices are made.
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